...on what would have been his 1st birthday.
Today would have been the 1st birthday of the baby I miscarried. A year ago this date loomed throughout the month of December. What should have been a joyous due date turned into a reminder of the Christmas baby I wouldn't have. A year later it still stings. Thinking of what might have been. Thinking that we would have had a one year old today. Damn those mailing lists that send me diaper coupons or Sear's portrait studio flyers "in honor of my baby's first b-day" (Why did I let Motherhood Maternity sign me up for that stuff so soon?!?). I look at those, get a twinge of sadness, and promptly put them in the trashcan. I miss my baby and what might have been, but I picture him in Heaven- my little angel.
I may never know if you were going to be a boy or a girl (boy to me), or what your name really would have been (Umpadoomp is a fine little nickname), but I will always know that you were my baby and I love you very much.
PS Thanks CRDG for remembering :)
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6 comments:
oh, so sorry. ..thinking of you
Thinking of you today!
I just passed a similar milestone. While it's certainly different this year from last, I know it's still a tough day. Thinking of you!
Days like these are really hard! So sorry, thinking of you too XXX
I so understand how you feel. Hugs and I am sorry
You're welcome...I know how it feels to realize that no one else remembers. If we can keep each other's babies alive in our memories, then in a way they're still here with us.
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