I have convinced myself that I have an ectopic pregnancy. (I really do need to stop reading). I have an ache on one side. It doesn't really hurt but it has been there for close to 24 hours. It has sort of come and gone throughout the day, but still it comes.
Sidenote: We are supposed to leave for a mini vacation tomorrow. This is relevant because it makes my urgency more understandable.
So, the ache. It is there, and it is on the side, and it is probably just things stretching but it has me worrying. I decided that instead of self-diagnosing by Googling that I would call the nurse. I was hoping she would say 'that's just the normal stretching of your uterus. We'll see you on Monday for your already scheduled appointment.' But instead I was told that it is PROBABLY fine but they could squeeze me in just so I didn't worry about it. Then my fears jumped to next thing "Is it going to be too early to see a heartbeat? I don't want to be worried if we don't see a heartbeat." She said that it is early and I shouldn't worry if I don't see a heartbeat. It probably just means the baby needs to grow more. I made the appointment but then got off the phone thinking I was being paranoid, I was going to ruin my vacation, and tomorrow will possibly cure my fears about one thing but then plant the seed of worry about another.
Then I called my husband. He was not happy with me for having this mini-meltdown and thinks I should have just waited until Monday like we were scheduled.
The thing is I can feel the nagging ache and it makes me worried. He doesn't have to worry about his fallopian tube rupturing while in a sort of remote location.
I'm going tomorrow at 8:15. It has the potential to ruin my vacation and my hopes but if it is bad news, it is inevitable anyway, right?
Best case scenario: We see a sac in my uterus confirming that there is no ectopic pregnancy and we see an early but strong little heartbeat.
Potential for more worry scenario: we see the sac in my uterus but no heartbeat (with the doctor's reassurance that it is very early)
Worst case scenario: no sac in uterus or something that looks totally abnormal.
For my IF friends this is kind of like at the end of the 2ww when you are trying to decide if you should POAS. Part of you is dying to know while the other part is just happy to be hopeful.
Please, please, please think, pray, & keep your fingers crossed for us tonight. Also, if I don't post something tomorrow don't assume the worst. Between a doctor's appointment, working a 1/2 day, and leaving for the beach I'll be very busy.
UGH! Did I make the right decision by scheduling this appointment?!?!?!
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11 comments:
I felt the SAME way with this pregnancy. Just like you, I had self-diagnosed an ectopic. I was convinced. I saved the links, I had every symptom, I was paranoid that I was going to lose a tube. I can't even believe it reading your post...it totally brought me back. I called my favorite nurse and she basically just went over other things to watch for...and turns out I was wrong. The pain lasted for a while and they did end up bringing me in a bit later (around 11 weeks) but couldn't find much. They said it was probably just from the stimulation from the Bravelle and may take my ovaries a while to regroup.
I was disappointed in myself for flipping out over nothing. When you want something SO bad, your mind goes to funny places. You can't change the fact that you called, just go in there and take it for what it is. (Your husband also reacted the SAME way mine did...but let's be honest, it's happening to you and not him...)
Anyway, all I can say is that I'm hoping there's good news to come. When there is and after you've gone through this part, make a promise to yourself that you'll just try to take one day at a time. You can't control ALL of pregnancy...but there are things you can do to ensure a healthy 9+ months. Stay away from the internet ;)
Thinking of you!!! Email if you need anything!!
Step away from the google! It's EVIL!
But, I don't think it's crazy to go for the appt early. For IFers, I suspect that this earliest part of pregnancy is the toughest ever, so I don't think it's crazy to get additional information.
I hope you get the best case scenario and just enjoy your vacation!
YES, you made the right decision. Otherwise, you would never enjoy your vacation.
I had something just like this and it turned out to be a cyst on one of my ovaries (which resolved itself).
Good luck, I will have all my fingers and toes crossed!
I felt the same way with my pregnancy. I was hyper paranoid with every ache, pain and twinge. You did the right thing for making the appointment. For me, at least, going on vacation with a nagging worry would be worse; it would taint everything. Worst case scenario, at least you know...you know?
We will be thinking about and praying for you and your little one. I hope you have a wonderful time at the beach celebrating your anniversary. Maybe just a one-liner that says "all is well"...? :)
That's the first thing I worry about when I'm pregnant, the worrying never ends does it!
Thinking of you and hoping for good news when you get back :)
X
My fingers are firmly crossed for you. But I agree with the "step away from Dr Google" advice.
I had an ectopic pregnancy, I had no cramping until I started bleeding, then the cramps were out of this world. If you're betas were good, you are probably not having an ectopic. The betas are different with an ectopic.
I am on my thrid pregnancy (one ectopic, one miscarriage) and they did an ultrasound at 6 weeks to comfirm that I wasn't having an ectopic and they saw NOTHING, nothing in the tube, nothing in the womb, doctor said not to worry, every pregnancy is different.
Well, now I'm at 12 weeks, good healthy pregnancy with strong heartbeat and everything. I had period like cramps for about 2 weeks, its normal. I am really glad that the doctor and my friends and my husband worked together to keep me off google for 2 weeks until our 8 week appointment. Go to your appointment, the doctor or one of the nurses will probably be very helpful in calming you down. Look at the bright side, you have an excuse to make your husband carry all the suitcases on your vacation.
I'm not even pregnant and those thoughts have popped in my head recently. I totally think the appointment is justified!
Better safe than sorry, I say. If your body is telling you something I think it's good that you listen to it. :)
"For my IF friends this is kind of like at the end of the 2ww when you are trying to decide if you should POAS. Part of you is dying to know while the other part is just happy to be hopeful."
AMEN SISTA --- I am saying a prayer for you tonight - blessings - farah
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