Sequel to the 2 week wait

I'm still here. Actually my absence has mostly been caused by the fact that I'm paranoid about using the laptop too much. I feel like I read somewhere that it puts out bad stuff... I need to stop reading. It adds to my paranoia.

Depending on the day that you ask me, things in pg land are going well (I hope). Somedays I boo-hoo because I feel like I have no symptoms, other days I feel achy, tired and uncomfortable. I guess everything is ok. My mom says that she hardly had any morning sickness and that she had backaches early on. Considering I inherited infertility and a small bladder from her, I'm going to hope I got her pregnancy symptoms too. I am still worrying alot but I'm trying not to be too crazy about obsessing. I'm still keeping my guard up about being excited- I don't want to be let down if something goes wrong (although I will be anyway). Those who have had contact with me recently would probably say that I'm being very BLAH. I feel sort of blah. Too much on the line to be out celebrating. Although I am just dying to go buy maternity clothes and baby stuff. We were cleaning the basement this weekend and I opened my pregnancy box that we packed away after the miscarriage last year. I looked at it. Touched my maternity clothes, smiled at the few baby things we'd acquired, remembered the books we purchased. Then I closed the box up. Not yet. Hopefully I'll be dragging that stuff out soon, but not yet. Sidenote: I did take one pair of maternity shorts out that I don't remember getting. Boy did they feel better than the "normal" clothes I'm getting a little uncomfortable in.

We have a nice distraction from the upcoming ultrasound on Monday. At the end of the week we are going to the beach for an anniversary vacation. 5 years! I'm hoping that we'll be able to enjoy ourselves and won't be thinking about the appointment too much. The appointment is on Monday at 3:00. God, please let us get good news. I want to hear that there is a perfectly normal embryo in there with a strong little heartbeat. This appointment is especially scary to us because it was when we got the bad news last time. Of course, it will probably be somewhat relieving if everything is ok because we will have passed a new milestone. I am praying that everything will be ok. Until then I wait. It is like the sequel to the dreaded 2 ww. I'M TRYING TO THINK POSITIVE!!!!!!

I'm going to read as many blogs as possible. I miss hearing what's going on with everyone!